Dan's Lesser Known Adages
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you
down to his level and beat you with experience.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit
salad.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need
it.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency,
notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald
head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive
again.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they
were.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot
of tequila.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually
uses water.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the
target.